Wednesday, 14 December 2011


It's a very big week in our family. Apart from all the usual getting ready for Christmas festivities for all the kid's activities and schools. C turns 7 tomorrow - it seems almost surreal that my baby is so not a baby anymore - but always will be to her mum. J has her graduation ceremony for Year 6 tomorrow as well. I am happy for her to be leaving Primary School - though there have been some great times this year, previous years are spotted with the memories of great unhappiness. Through this happiness, a haunting thought keeps hitting me. J may never have another graduation. She may never even finish high school. I cy whenever I think about it. I can't give that feeling a voice anywhere but here. People are so arrogant in their assumption that J will be fine - she's a fighter. I know that - I see it everyday. Plenty of fighters go down....too young, too loved, too MANY.
I know I'll cry tomorrow night - but not for the past. I don't want to keep her still and stagnant. I want her to have everything. But those "firsts" we watch our kids go through are not always glittering like gold. Sometimes they are really tarnished by the reality of what we live through...everyday.
This may be the only one.